Elimination Communication Journey

Elimination communication is something that I gave a second look when I was trying to figure out how to potty train my 14 month old daughter prior to her baby brother's arrival. Elimination communication or EC is the practice of learning your baby's cues for his or her biological need to make waste and helping them to eliminate in a receptacle besides a diaper. Some parents may confuse this with “early potty training” but EC, at its core, is about honoring your baby's innate need to avoid soiling themselves. Other benefits that come with EC are: saving diaper waste, promoting hygiene, and building a new line of communication with your baby or young toddler. Although my initial goals were more focused on the potty independence stage of EC, I really did have to learn to communicate with her on a whole different level in order to be successful at helping her learn to use the potty. It was a major challenge, especially given her age. One year old toddlers are the busiest beings on Earth! Nonetheless, I had to learn a whole different way to communicate with my young toddler. It wasn't easy, and I had a certain level of regret about not beginning EC with her sooner.

The first time I heard about EC, it was not even on my radar. My daughter was a young infant. I remember my husband telling me about an article he had recently read about parents taking their babies to the potty based on the baby's cues followed by a verbal prompt from the parent which signals the baby to eliminate. I remember saying, “That's crazy! Louisa pees all the time. And how can you read their cues? Sounds time consuming!” The whole concept completely blew me away, and I never gave it much more thought. It sounded too mystical for me, but I was intrigued.

Fast forward several more months. I was pregnant with my second child and he would be due when my daughter was only 18 months old. I had a conversation with my friend that sparked my interest in EC. My friend, who was also pregnant with her second child, told me about how she had begun introducing her son to the potty. He was cloth diapered and she had extra motivation to have him poop anywhere but in his pants. She explained how after breakfast, she would set him on his mini potty and let him watch a program then he would typically poop within a short time! How amazing! He was making the connection between poop and potty. I loved it and I wanted to be there with my daughter. She described how she wanted to get him used to using the potty so that potty training would be easier in the future. She then compared it to training her horses toward mastering tasks - a slow and steady introduction of a practice until the process is complete. It made complete sense, and it struck me that it would be a short time before I'd have two little ones in diapers. That sounded like a lot of diapers. I also didn't like the thought of trying to potty train a busy toddler with a young infant in tow. It all the sudden made sense that I should begin showing my daughter how to use the potty and now.

My daughter was 13 months old when we began, and by the time she was 18 months, when her brother arrived, she wasn't completely potty independent (taking herself to the potty or always communicating a need to go). However, she was in undies, mostly dry, and using the toilet upon prompting from us or her own random need to take herself by about 17 months. I felt like we had reached a huge milestone just by having her in cotton trainers during the day. We just kept the lines of communication open with her about her need to use the potty much like her need for food or comfort or sleep, etc.

In order to guide my efforts with my daughter, I referenced EC expert, Andrea Olson, on her book, Tiny Potty Training Book, a follow up book to Olson's first book, Go Diaper Free: A Simple Handbook for Elimination Communication. The potty training book is for those wishing to move from EC to potty independence with their kids or for those simply wanting to potty train their toddlers. I also read every single blog I could in order to find tips on how to potty train a young toddler.

I clearly remember catching my daughter's very first pee on the potty... I got her up from her nap, set her on a hand me down Fisher Price princess potty, and she peed right away. I was thrilled! It was something I thought wouldn't happen until she was two or three years old. I knew then that we could do this, but that we both had so much learning to do together. Not every pee catch was that easy, but I kept trying and troubleshooting. My methods for catching her waste evolved over time. I began with “easy catches” which are basically eliminations that happen after transitions such as coming in from the car, waking from naps, leaving the high chair after meals. The training method is pretty basic – keep a potty nearby and airlift them immediately upon transitions or signs of elimination happening. I found that naked from the waist down observation time is what helped me to learn her body communication. Naked time also seemed to put her in touch with her elimination needs also. Nonetheless, the biggest hurtle was retraining poops to happen on the potty. She basically had to become comfortable enough to relax and go #2 on the little potty. That whole process took time, effort, troubleshooting, and lots of patience.

The rewards of working with my daughter toward being diaper free were realized pretty quickly. By the time she was 16 months, she was sometimes initiating potty trips and doing about 90% of her eliminations on the potty. I was happy not to struggle with diaper changes anymore. The potty routine became part of our everyday life. Her dad pitched in and we taught visiting grandparents and friends how to help out when we weren't around. The reward of seeing her little bum in soft cotton trainers was entirely motivating. Other benefits for her were improved agility with less bulk attached, no more diaper rashes, a blossoming sense of independence, money saved on diapers, and less environmental waste. Elimination communication was a door that I'm so happy I chose to walk through.

I continued to practice EC with my my next two children. When my second baby was 7 months, I decided it was time to move those morning poops to the potty. Lo and behold, it truly took both of us about a week or less to figure it out, but a routine quickly developed. He loved his new potty routine of reading with mom and sitting on the potty after a morning feed. At 13 months he wore cotton trainers during the day. By 16 months he had the verbal skills and know how to run toward the potty when he needed to poop and by 2 years old he was taking himself to pee and poop. In general, as young toddlers and parents progress through elimination communication toward potty independence, there's typically hiccups and struggles, but I've always experienced positive outcomes. My advice is to stay consistent with routines and make adjustments if it seems like your previous approaches aren't jiving anymore.

When my third child came, I wasn't super committed to the idea of beginning EC at birth. I had two toddlers at home (3 years and 21 months), and knew that it may be somewhat of a distraction from the already chaotic day to day. However, when he was just a couple of days old I observed his need to poop in the middle of the night after feeding at the breast. I couldn't in good consciousness put him back to bed without helping him get through his obvious need to go. He pooped immediately in the ever magical EC hold (hold baby in squat position by their thighs with their backs securely nestled against adult's chest or tummy area over a receptacle). I was amazed at how he naturally took to my help, and finished his job. We spent the first couple of weeks focusing on catching his midnight poops and sometimes I'd catch a pee too. He really liked EC hold and every time I put him into that position he'd try to poop and sometimes pee. So, I kept up the routine. I learned that newborns pee quite frequently, but the poops were mostly predictable or at least the need seemed to be more strongly communicated by him. Now at a young 2 years old, he's working toward potty independence, reliably dry between bathroom breaks, and vocal about when he needs to poop. He's been in cotton trainers during the day since he was 13 months old.

I have found it to be true, that with each child the process becomes easier. Ongoing practice with each child has made my senses keener to each baby's potty needs. It seems my brain develops an automatic EC sensor, and it all becomes routine. This doesn't mean there won't be hiccups along the way and new things to troubleshoot, but for the most part, I've found that once a rhythm has been established it's the basis for moving forward even in difficult times.

EC is one of the loveliest things I've discovered during my parenting journey. Now, I cannot imagine parenting my babies and young toddlers without this practice in place. It also seems as though parents and physicians are becoming more open to learning about EC. I have discussed this with different pediatricians over time and they show interest. My latest pediatrician, a mom of four, applauded it. In the early days of my parenting journey, I received the general message that I needed to wait until my kid initiated potty training or showed interest in the potty to begin the potty learning process. In some ways this is true, but not in the ways that parents expect. Babies do actually communicate a real need not to soil themselves when they fuss, cry or wiggle. It is just that parents have received the message not to worry about it until toddlers are older, so we don't look for it. Thus, we miss these early windows of opportunity to teach our babies. I think of myself as an old world parent that doesn't have access to lots of diapers (nowadays many parents throughout the world don't have access to any diapers), and that helps me to further understand that EC can certainly be done just out of sheer need.

Given that my first child was 14 months old (a late age to begin EC) it was a huge learning curve for both of us to overcome. But with each of my subsequent children, beginning the process earlier made for much easier transitions into EC. My second child, 7 months, took to EC after about a week of practice. With the newborn age, I was pottying him while half awake, in the dark. It was a cakewalk. EC is instinctual for newborns at that age, so they just do it. I also cannot deny that my confidence level has grown with each child. I pretty much know now what to expect and it definitely helps to get the ball rolling. My hope for is for more and more parents to discover EC so that both babies and parents will realize the massive benefits that EC rewards.

*For more on how to get started with Elimination Communication visit Andrea Olson's website, Go Diaper Free, for books, blogs and videos at: godiaperfree.com/